04.04b - "Funeral Arrangements"

Apostrofae took the moon elf's horse on walkabout along the caravan to see what she could see - especially in the cart that had the gold in it. Using the cover of darkness, she ties the horse to a nearby branch, goes to the far side of the tree and dissipates into the ground as a swarm of crawly insects. Hurrying over, she swarmed up the side of the wagon quickly while the guards were distracted with nighttime preparations. Nosing around in the wagon, she quickly came to realize that If it wasn't for that one box falling out and landing perfly and cracking open, she realized that these were VERY well sealed crates. waxed and oiled ropes securing against weather. She swarmed back out and over to the horse and then walked over to find Blak. "We need to see if the assholes in that cart with the gold talk to anyone else more than they should. There has to be more than one cart."

Blak gave Ludo one more rubbing on his head between his eyes, "Oh, good evening A'postrophae.  You mean like, now this night or in general?" He looked around and lowered his voice, switching to elvish.

"In general" she told him, mirroring his language and volume. "I just scouted their cart but everything is well sealed and waxed"

Blak looked thoughtful. "You know, Able said one was totally tattooed if you know what I mean.  We could ask him to point out the guard that we know is 'in' as it were.  Maybe ask him some questions. I may be able to get him to chat a bit more than Able already got him to"

"If anyone can get them talking it's you." she said.

Blak smirked and took a bow. "All right Ludo.  You rest up. And if anyone or anything comes up to mess with you that isn't you, you kick 'em like you do, OK?"

Bismark, having walked over to check in on the group, over heard them, and came close, whispering in elvish as well, “if you are going to go an speak vith zem, Blak, you should probably not be vearing zat ring ven you do, or at least hide it somehow."

Blak called everyone around. "OK everyone; so, I have this idea. Let's head to the guard's and bodyguard's area, especially Our Eminence here, but whomever else wants to go.  If we see the other Guard, with the members-only status, let me know. If he not, we can wait for another time.  If he is there though, I'll call out to everyone to let them know we're doing a Eulogy."

He looks over toward Bismark "That's your queue.  While you read from that book of yours and whatnot, get their mind focused on the events that unfolded, and talk up how great a guy Hedron was, I'll play something mellow and sad to try and get them even more softened up.

Blak's slightly glowing eyes take in the others. "Now I'll really try and lean-in on our Guy that likely has the backstage passes we want.  If it works, I'll go over to comfort him a bit, and we should become fast friends.  For an hour at least, he'll do what he would for a brother. After that nothing says he'll suddenly hate me or anything, but he may be resistant to go out of his way without further convincing..."

He stops his bit of rambling. "Anyway, if you others case the crowd and send me a signal of any others you want to try and sway in a way that will make them more helpful, I can attempt to lean-in on  about 3 others. Well, what do you all think about that?"

Bismark shook his head. "Quite disrespectful to Hendren who just gave his life in order to protect his charge, using his death to manipulate people."

A’postrofae tried to talk but the only thing that comes out is guttural noises and growling.

“you okay, apostrofae?" Bismark asked

She took a deep breath. “No I am not fucking OK Bis...Gustaf. We need to fucking stop these people and I don’t care if some guy who got his head popped off is disrespected a bit. And for further reference if I get my head popped off you have my permission to parade me around on a stick if it does something to stop these fucking pieces of shit.” She grabbed her bottle and took a gulp before taking her boots off. The smell was horrible and quickly wafted around.

Able sniffed the air with a horrified look. “Helm's cock, Apos! Is that your feet? It smells like an ogre's bollocks rolled in old cheese!"

“I know! Right? I hate these boots.” she told him.

Able looked ehr up and down. "You need sandals, girl. And a bath. And maybe a priest"

“Our local priest doesn’t like me and I’d rather not wear anything on my feet.” she said.

"The priest is for whatever died in those boots" Able told her.

She waved them at Bismarck, “The power of Helm compels you!” getting a hearty laugh from Able, who nearly choked on a piece of jerky he’d been chewing on.

A’postrofae took another pull from her bottle of bathroom cleaner. “I miss Theo. He could make some decent booze. This stuff is terrible.”

"Pour some on your feet. See if it helps" Able told her.

Watching and listening to all of this, Bismark's face starts getting flushed. "I am NOT a priest, NOR do I think I am some lord... " he said, catching Blak's eye and closed his eyes and started taking some deep breaths. he opens them again "but If you want to disrespect the honorable dead, then I will have no part of it." and he started to walk off to find the armorer.

Ignoring him, Apostrofae  said “Ooooh good idea” and poured some of the booze on her feet. “We should have brought more priests with more flexible morals.”

"Those are my preferred flavor as well" Able told her.

Apostrofae wiggled her toes. “I mean he’ll steal from his friends but he won’t play along with an investigation. I guess he’s morally flexible but in all the wrong ways”

Able smirked. "You should give him a break, Apos. He's trying to do better"

“If you say so.” Apostrofae said, dismissively.

"I do say so. Give him a chance and he may surprise you" Able shrugged "And if he surprises us the wrong way I'll help you dig the hole myself. We can only hope for the best."

“He was better before he got religion” Apostrofae commented.

"I agree. But gods make fools faster than saints.” Able replied. “Lets give him a chance to find his way"

“I have a hard time forgetting what he did but I will try.” she told him.

"Wait" Blak said with a start, and chased after Bismark. “Wait!”

“Huh?” said spostrofea, turning to watch. “Oh hey Blak.”

"Gustoff,” Blak said “I never said anything about disrespecting Hendron.  Quite the opposite. you see, when something like that transpired goes down, it all....comes to me.  I really can't explain it.  Look.  I bled for you back there, right?  And I know now that you'll bleed for me.  Can you trust me?"

Bismark stops and turns around "you don't find it disrespectful to the man to use his funeral as a way to manipulate people with your mind control?" he says tapping the side of his head. "I'm trying to trust you, but vhen you use zat, I have a hard time of it."

"Mind...what?  No, this isn't the same thing as that. “ Blak said.

"I'm going to make them all realize what exactly what Hendron did in all due respect and fire everyone up!  It's what they all need. Nine hells, we need it too I think.  But it'll also get the other schmuck on our side.  Unless you are saying you are against that.  The Key to the first part fo this is you giving a good sermon though.  Do you have it in you to do that?  Can we count on you?"

Bismark stared at Blak for a long moment. "If you are going to honor him, and not use him... I will trust you to do that."

Blak spits into his hand and held it out to Bismark. "On my brothers and sister's honor"

"vell i don't sink zat is necessary, but..." he took his hand and shook it.

"So, how soon do you think you can work something up?  Is everyone here?" Blak looks around for the others.

“I vould think Leda vould be ze one to determine vhen ze funeral pyre is to be lit” Bismark said.

Apostrofae looked up from her toes. “I think it kind of needs to be tonight or first thing. We are making the dash tomorrow.”

Blak nodded. "I was thinking tonight, but I'm happy with either, if we need to wait until we are witness to his cremation"

“Apos is right” Bismark said. “Ve are to dash through ze fields tomorrow."

“I’d be happy to go ask Leda when we she wants to do it...” Apostrofae said, and Able snorted a laugh, then coughed to cover it, making her blush. “I meant the funeral thing.”

"Yes, I understand.” said Able, grinning. “Too much time around Brynne. Sorry, my friend - she has me laughing at farts like a young man again. You should indeed go talk to her - see what she prefers"

Apostrofae started putting her boots back on. “That is the question of course...what does she prefer. I’ll go ask her.”

"Oh, A'postrphae?" Blak said. "Be sure to tell her she has nice boots ."

“Yes? Apostrofae asked, looking confused. “What? Why?”

"It'll help when you next ask her about ...preferences." Blak said, smiling innocently

---

Before dawn the next morning, Bismark arose, and found a quiet spot to pray and read from his Journal of the Fellowship of the Watchers, as the guards began gently rousing the camp per Leda’s orders. When he had finished, he began some of his sword exercises.

Apostrofae groaned as she crawled ever so slowly out of her bedroll. Meanwhile, Able walked up as he was in the middle of them and suggested they spar. “Just practice stuff, no shenanigans.”

"Yes! Certainly!" Bismark said, excited about the idea.

"Don't hurt me, now.” Able said, getting his gear in order. “I'm old and slow. Just trying to get the hang of this new spear"

Bismark adjusted his armor a little bit and pulls his rapier out saluting Able with it. “First to 5 touches, then”

Seeing what was going on, A'postrofae will got some coffee and went over to watch the shenanigans.

Bismark pulls out his old rapier and sets the new one aside. Able, sweating nervously inside his armor watched as Bismark drew the rapier and saluted him, smiling. "Sweet gods, here we go" Able said, as Bismark lunged forward with the rapier, and deflecting it with his polearm.

"nice dodge" Bismark said, pulling back quickly.

"Saranae's bouncing tits, you are fast. Man, I don't know if i can keep up with -" and Able lunged mid sentence as a distracttion." thrusting with the razor at Bismark, who deftly knocked the attack aside with the rapier. Blak, who had been tuning his instrument came over, his mouth agape.

Bismark did not, however, see the butt end of the glaive swing around and smack him in the head.

A few of the guards and teamsters, done with their morning chores, began to gather around and watch. Blak looked at A'postrofae, "What button got pushed this time?"

"Just practice this time.” She said. ”Although expect one of them to lose their temper at some point"

Bismark thrusts forward, making a clear strike, but held back from actually making contact, and held the position, smiling at Able.

The teamsters began to start placing bets. It seemed like the "Metallic One" had higher odds than the "Crazy One". "Well, if it is a touch-only game, I expect Lord Gustoff to win the day." Blak said. After drumming up odds, Blak found a bookie and bet 2g on Able.

“Even at 1 now” Bismark said, returning to his ready position. "zat blunt end is a sneaky one, Able" he said with a laugh.

“Thanks!” Able replied, then swung the glaive at him again, but missed as Bismark sidestepped it. Once again, Able wheeled around with the butt end and caught Bismark in the side this time.

Blak, speaking to "Now if actually smacking each other, I'd think that armor would give our other man an advantage there, making it more even"

Bismark swung low, intending to trip Able, but only managed to whack him on the shins, and he barely escapes crashing to the ground. "Ouch" Able exclaimed. “2 to 2 now” he said, pressing the attack, lunging forward with the glaive. Bismark dodged the attack and this time remembered to watch for the followup, riposting as Able had overextended himself, and landing a hit near Able’s waist, then attacked again, tapping the armor on Able’s shoulder.

Bismark was clearly enjoying himself immensely, as he smiled broadly. "you opened yourself up too much on zat one, Able" he said, dancing back into a defensive stance, awaiting Able's next attack.

"Wow, that was fancy!" Blak said, surprised on the sidelines

Able went for broke, swinging the glaive at both ends, but Bismark had been prepared for his attack and rolled out of the way, swinging his rapier around backhandedly to rest on the back of Able’s neck. “5-2, friend.” he says with a smile. Able grinned. Bismark stuck out his hand, beaming from ear to ear as the guards erupted in various cheers and jeers as money traded hands. The bookie happily pocketed the 2g from Blak.

"But I don't have any magic" Able said, mimicing Bismark’s accent and winked.

Bismark clapped him on the shoulder. "zat was ze most fun I have had in a vhile, Able"

Leda walks over from her spot, leaning against the nearest cart. "Are you ladies finished?"

Able stiffened. "Yes marm"

Guards immediately scattered, and Bismark snapped to attention, while Blak sat clapping.

"Just training marm" Able reported..

"Honestly, that was well fought, both of you.” Leda said, stepping forward. “Although Mr. Able, honestly I would have preferred it if you had given our little trouble maker here a good thumping." she said nodding to Bismark

"Me too, marm" Able told her, Bismark unable to keep from grinning the whole time.

Leda finally smiled to break the tension, and Able could feel his blood pressure lighten. "Levity aside, we have a pyre to build, may I enlist the help of both of you?"

"Yes marm" Able told her.

"Of course" Bismark said, becoming a bit more sober at being reminded of the morning’s activities.

Able handed the Razor to Blak, and Bismark replaced the celestial rapier on his belt, putting his old one back with his belongings, both following Leda to the site.

"We'll need to collect some wood. Stay within eye-shot of the road" she told them.