03.03a - "The Roper!"



Able leaned heavily on the cool metal of Song, and then turned to look at Bismark. "Do you think any of these guys know how to fight? Fuck… Why do we always do the heavy lifting?" Apostrofae raised an eyebrow at the insult. "Not you, kid. You're doing great!" Able gave her a thumbs up and then turned to Bismark and rolled his eyes.

“Do any of you idiots have any rope? I’m kind of sick of having to fight while sitting on this bitch.” Apostrofae said, pointing at Frulan.

"You have my word I will not try to escape?" Frulan offered, as Able tosed a length of rope to Apostrofae. "Oh"

Able shows her Torture Rock and then mimes closing her mouth.

Apostrofae began tying up their prisoner. “I learned about your “word” at my village”

Able looked at the eggs. "Okay, kid. We'll burn her feet off later. Right now..." Able turns to the eggs "We gotta figure out how these are coming with us. Anyone see a wheelbarrow?"

Apostrofae ignored him, keeping her focus on Frulan. “You promised that nobody would be harmed if you got what you wanted. Then when you got it you slaughtered everyone. Even the small children. That weights rests on me…”

"May I speak?" Frulan asked. A'postrofae nodded, continuing to work with the rope. "Rezmir had decided your tribe had outlived their usefulness. No witnesses were ordered. I take no pleasure in the bloodshed. She had sent me on tasks around the coast to ... tidy up. I admit I carried out the order, but it was not my decision to make"

“We all will pay the price for what happened there Frulan. I was just following orders doesn’t remove your guilt” Apostrofae said, grabbing her dagger and cutting off a strip of her robe to shove in Frulan’s mouth. “Talk time is over.” Apostrofae stood and looked around.

Just then, Gamble came running into the room with Theo and Sir Hector from a corridor. He stood there panting and then straightened himself up, brushing off his robes. "Sir Hector... Theo, listen...uh...we're about to get a long line of visitors from this hallway.  It's not my fault though, the map you showed me was wrong. They must have put false information down on it to fool us.  I went down there to find a back way into this chamber and instead I fell into a pit and was ambushed by 15 kobolds and friends, and they are chasing me!"

Brynne looked up. "Shit."

“Who the hell is that? Is he part of our group?” Apostrofae asked.

"Unfortunately!" Gamble shouted back over his shoulder, garnering a “Fuuuuuuuuuck” from Apostrofae.

Able walked over quickly. "Gamble! What the fuck have you done?"

"Nothing!” he quickly shot back. “I was trying to find another route to attack these asshats from and I was ambushed.  Their maps are lies!!! Why would they need maps of their own cave!!!"

"Anybody got a quick solid way of collapsin' that hallway? Magic?" Brynne asked

Apostrofae thought a second. “I might… I’ve got a spell that can cause small tremors. If the cave is weak enough it might collapse.” Apostrofae began thinking through her incanations before announcing “Sorry, I misremembered what spells I had prepared this morning. I don’t have that one available”

"It's fine....uhhhh...hey did you guys find those eggs? Gamble asked

Apostrofae pointed behind her. “Yes, they are in the cave behind us. Three of them. Too big to carry”

Gamble continued, "Are any of them the color red by any chance....?"

Apostrofae shook her head. “All of them are black. Able here seems to think we should take them and sell them. I’m not so sure… Why would anyone want a dragon? They will just kill you eventually.”

"Ok, well if you happen to see any red dragon scales lying around let me know...I can use it for something...." Gamble said brushing some more cave dust off of his shoulder.

Leofinas began mumbling to himself and then nodded as everyone was having this conversation.

Hearing the tension rising in the room, Able cursed to himself as his war-time instincts started to take hold. "Shit! Okay, everybody listen up!" Heads turned and talk quieted. "We need defenses at the choke point. Something flammable if possible. Short blades up front! Long blades right behind! Ranged get to cover and clear your lanes of fire! Wounded and prisoners behind cover. We'll need someone to watch them as well"

Frulan mumbled something around the gag

Blak showed Able some flasks of oil “Maybe these large drake bodies would provide the cover you were hoping for? Oh yes, and there's a Roper over there. I wonder if we could coax it without killing ourselves into the other chamber. Now that thing can make a choke point!"

As he finished his sentence, one of the stalagtites moves slightly and a tentacle whips out, wrapping around the dead drake by the stairs it draws. Te tentacle drug it across the floor before. hoisting it up. Impossibly the thing brought it to its mouth and the room immediately filled with the sound of tearing and crunching bone.

Everyone stood there watching this happen until Blak broke the silence. "Damn, well, that would have been the time to tug of war it into the other room...and it just ate Able's couch, so seems plans are getting thinner"

Able looked back and forth from the roper to the corridor. "Hey Blak, can we, uh...herd that thing into the choke?"

Blak tried to judge the distance between where the roper is on the ceiling and where it grabbed the nearby drake body. "Well, possibly.  They are a lot smarter and cunning than you may think. They know what to them tastes good and what's an easier meal as well...like an already dead drake for instance.  If it's still hungry, it'll move for food. It will totally consider us food by the way, with the "softest" of us likely the first to get targeted because well...metal is hard.  It can reach really far so we need to be careful even if we don't mess with it.  As you can see it's good at hiding and using all those tentacles to snatch at the thing it really wants - sort of like a bunch on 1 at that point and it is already pretty strong with just 1 I think.  Only saving graces are that they are sorta slow and generally OK to leave if they do manage to get a little bloodied." The creature on the ceiling finished eating about half of the drake and drops the remainder to the ground with a thud. The creature then began to slowly move across the ceiling towards the center of the room. A rumbling, croaking voice in common, "Soft .... Foooooood?" Everyone turned to look at each other. "Meeeeeeeat?"

Blak added, "And apparently, this one understands common.” He addresses the Roper.  "Hello there moving along the ceiling. Are you still hungry? Perhaps I could interest you in a buffet of sorts  All easy food coming right over to you just in through that room right over there. You should definitely go there and eat all the "meat" that isn't us in there instead" Blak said as he made some motions weaving a spell together.

It moved about 10 feet closer to the center of the room, Slowly. "Alive meat?"

Blak answered "Easy to catch, lots of alive meet through that way over there.  Not prickly and dangerous like us"

A tendril lashed out, grabbing the half eaten drake, shoved it in it's maw and looked like it was chewing thoughtfully. Everyone held their breath for a moment. The roper then began to slowly head towards the other room, creepily making its way across the ceiling.

A few moments later a very startled Theo exclaimed, 'THE FUCK IS THAT?"

Able just stood there amazed. "I can't believe this is working"

Blak leaned over, but keeping his eye on the roper. "I'm generally fair at convincing, but this is definitely a high mark for me, I must say. I guess that still leaves these eggs though?"

"Indeed", Able agreed, scratching the stubble on his knobby head

Brynne looked wild-eyed at Blak and drags Leosin as far out of the Roper's path as possible. Making a sign of warding she spoke ostensibly to Leosin in Dwarven, "Dinnae let the pretty face on tha' one fool ya; he's got a touch o' the deep devilry on 'im fer certain,"

Able looked over his shoulder and shook his head. "I cannot believe this is working" while A’postrofae just looked at everyone like they are idiots.

"Why the look?” Blak asked “The Roper can now help us with whatever it is they were saying Gamble was bringing this way."

“Sure…” Apostrofae said, half heartedly.

"A'postrophae, would you mind removing Frulam's gag so that she can answer how they got these eggs in here without breaking them?" Blak asked her. She pulled the gag from Frulan’s mouth.

She looked slightly baffled at the question. "I mean . . the eggs used to be smaller, for one, and we carried them in on ceremonial litters. we have cultists and acolytes who were honored to bear the things in here"

"Are there litters nearby?" Blak asked

Frulan answered him, “They took the ceremonial litters with them North. Since these should hatch within the week”

Able gestures at the many dead cultists laying around "Strip off those robes. We'll make egg bjorns"

"What's a bee-yorn?" Brynne asked.

"Its uh, like a sling bag. For babies. The elves use em" Able answered

Blak started stripping those that no longer needed their robes.

Theo yelled in from the other room, "That's a HUGE baby . . ."

"Oh! The baby bags. Good thinkin'" Brynne said, the mental image clicking for her

Throwing a glance at the ceiling creature, continuing to move, Gamble shook his head and just said "Nope." and turned to run for the chute that the group originally entered in through.

Bismark walks over to frulan and grabs her collar. "Where is talis?" He snarls. She gives Bismark a look of befuddlement, "Who?" "Don't give me zat crap, heretic. Talis - An elf woman zat your thugs took"

"Forgive me, but we have taken many prisoners over the least few years. Elves are not a rarity" Frulan told him.

Bismark continued. "Zen Vere have you taken all of ze prisoners?"

Frulan furrowed her brow. "Depending when she was taken, the main body has moved much further North. She could be as far as Waterdeep by now.”

Bismark dropped her the couple inches back to the floor from having grabbed her, and grabs the hilt of his rapier, but just holds it, fuming, looking at Apostrofae. Frustrated, he walked away in disgust and over to Brynne and the still body on the floor. He looks to Brynne and asks somewhat curtly "Is zis your friend? He does not look so vell." Kneeling down beside him, he placed his hand on the man’s shoulder, closing his eyes. He begins to pray "Helm watch over this man" as a gentle glow came from Bismark’s hand.

As Bismark walked away Apostrofae put the ga back in Frulan’s mouth as Able began to wrestle the eggs into sacks made from cultist robes.

Leosin's eyes fly open with a gasp. “Leosin, are you okay?” Bismark asked, helping him sit up.

"who . .  what? Gods I thought I was dead . . .Last thing I remember was getting tossed into that pit and a kobold came and kicked me in the face. I thought I was Drake food, or maybe baby dragon food. How the hell did you get in here and…” his eyes drift over Bismark’s shoulder to the dwarf standing there. “HOLY FUCK IS THAT YOU BRYNNE?"

Bismark quickly interrupts the reunion and says matter of factly. "Yes that is her, but you need to be quiet, and I need you to focus for a second, Leosin. When you were with the other prisoners, do you remember seeing an elf woman - shortish brown hair, blue eyes, kind of pointy chin that goes by the name Talis?"

Still staring at Brynne, wide eyed, Leosin shook his head to clear it then look at Bismark. "No such luck, lad . . . does anyone have any fuckin' water?" Bismark tossed him his waterskin and plopped back against the cave wall looking resigned.

Brynne grins and hugs Leosin, then starts jabbering at him in Dwarven. She gives him a quick and quiet summary of what has happened since she got to Greenest, and after she's finished, she points up at the Roper. "Mind yer step, the drow over there, Blak, chatted the beast up and now it's goin' where he tells it. S'good to see ya"

Leosin gingerly returned the hug. "Considering I never thought I'd see a friendly face again, much less one of my favorite faces . . . I can't tell you how good it is to see you ... You don't by chance have any of your famous cakes squirreled away do ya?"

Brynne smiled again, though she kept an eye on the Roper as she answered, "Ehhh, might have ter wait till we get back ter Greenest. Bin tradin' recipes with tha baker there in exchange fer time in his kitchen." She grunts. "He finally fixed tha' dodgy oven las' time I were there."

"Probably for the best then,” Leosin replied. ”I haven't had anything to eat for like three days. You'd send me into a sugar coma like that one time, I'm sure..."

With minimal fuss, Able rolled the egg carefully into the sack, wiping sweat from his brow - not from effort but more from the heat and humidity found in the hatchery. A heavily sweating Theo and a mission oriented Able came jogging back into the hatchery, and Sir Hector carefully tossed down one of his javelins. “Last one I got, it may be short but it's strong.”

Blak, from well afar, continued to urge the Roper toward the choke point when it looked like it might veer off. Bismark's annoyance subsided a bit as he sat there thinking "how ze hell is he doing zat?"

Arriving at the polished "dragon teeth", the roper growled inquisitively, "Foooooooooooood?"

There is no movement from the opening. The Roper turned slightly to consider Sir Hector who had reentered the room, unafraid. "Wheeeeere Fooooooood?" he heard from the ceiling.

Blak asked, "Does anyone speak Kobold?  We need someone to try and lure them down here.  Maybe pretend to be other Kobolds or cultists and yell to the Kobolds through the chokepoint for their assistance?  Maybe tell them the trap is disabled? I'd hate to disappoint our Roper friend."

Sweating and grunting under the load of the eggs, Able lumbered into the room. "Have we tried just screaming 'Help!'?"

"Well, no. I didn't think kobolds understood common." Blak said. "Shall I try that? Or share with Titus here that the delicious and easy to catch food is just through that stalag-ladden tunnel?"

"I think you are going to have to send him down the tunnel. They aren't coming out." Apostrofae said. "I'm not really sure you know how it's a "him" though."

"Isn't...isn't that...his...thing?", Able asked squinting and pointing "Maybe it's just a tentacle?"

"Oh that's sorta a "Yes" for both actually.  But anywho..." Blak said before turning back to the roper and raising his voice. "Yeah, meeeeeats!  You are almost there! The juicy, succulent, most delicious, easy to get meat is just through the tunnel there with the Stalactites and Stalagmites.  By the way, do you have a name?  I'm Blak.  It's been a pleasure to make your acquaintance.  Would you mind if I wrote a song or poem about you? I was thinking something like, the Roper and his Prober.  But...I'm still working it out, ya know?"

"siiiiiing about fooooood?" It seemed to consider for a moment before slipping between a couple "dragon fangs" and slowly making its way down the tunnel, tentacles probing ahead.

There was silence for a moment as everyone collectively held their breath. Then, in the distance… Screams.

Able stared down the hallway. "That went well I think" and patted Blak on the back "Let's get the fuck out of here"

Apostrofae agreed. “Yeah, good job songman. It’s nice to see you can do more than pick out clothes. What about the eggs?”

Able hefted the egg stick back onto his shoulder "We have these two. Hector is coming with the last one"

A kobold came sprinting down the tunnel, abject fear on its face. The moment before he made it out of the the "mouth" Sir Hector braced himself to take the charge. Suddenly a tentacle whipped out from the darkness, catching the kobold by the foot. It slammed face down on the cave floor, mouth bleeding and dazed, and began to scream as it was dragged back into the dark. A second tentacle wrapped around it's throat, choking off the kobold mid scream. It looked at Sir Hector, almost pleading, as it disappeared.

In the distance… More screams.

